humor computerhumor technology Don't Tech Me In
Welcome to ByteBackOnline, a site that will make you laugh whether you are technologically challenged or not. Here you will read about our conflicts with the artifacts of modern life. Enjoy these articles, but please
Don't Tech Me In.


Home

Article archive

A book related to each article

Links you may enjoy

Link to us

Do you Kindle? Check here for all things Kindle.

Tech Gifts. Cellphones.
Treat yourself!

computer humor

Write us about our site or an article you'd like to see here or an odd experience of modern life you'd like to share.

To the Author


Visit these other humorous sites by the same author:

Eat, Drink and
Really Be Merry

Home Is Where
the Dirt Is

Middle Age and Other Mistakes

Pop Goes the Culture

What's New, Emu?

Laughing Matters Ink

I Was Absent



Copyright © 2001– 2014.
All rights reserved.

Articles or portions thereof may not be reprinted without permission from the author.
Articles
Computers and Seniors: A Complex But Rewarding Combination
by Marjorie Dorfman
Computers represent their own particular challenges and for the older among us they may seem insurmountable. We are all only human however, and that is one edge that no computer can ever take away from us. Read on for some solutions in learning the language of computers, no matter how old (or young) you may be.

Electronic Pickpockets: Thieves Who Care Enough To Steal the Very Best
by Marjorie Dorfman
Technology shouldn’t be a tool to aid the bad guys, but sometimes it is. RFID technology is making it easier for the pickpocket to do his or her thing without detection. Read all about it and what you can do to stop it.

Bluetooth Technology: What Does It Have To Do With a Dead Viking King?
by Marjorie Dorfman
Do you wonder where the name Bluetooth came from? Do you really know why dentists have nothing at all to do with the modern explanation of Bluetooth? Read on for some answers, whether you need to go to the dentist or no.

Keeping Cool In More Ways Than One
by Marjorie Dorfman
How does one keep cool with the thermometer rising beyond comfort levels? Thinking cool is one thing and in this case, it means using your imagination. If yours is too warm to operate at maximum capacity, consider some of the fine hi-tech minds that have come up with some of the following ideas. Read on and...keep cool.

It’s A Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s News: No, It’s Infotainment!
by Marjorie Dorfman
Is infotainment becoming so popular that mobile phone users will soon be born with handsets growing out of their necks? If so, will they be state-of-the art or just so-so? Read on and learn about this high-tech phenomenon that has taken the modern world by storm.

MySpace, Your Space: Do You Want To Dance?
by Marjorie Dorfman
What is this thing called My Space and why is it so very popular among computer users of all ages? Is there any escape from it? Read on, arouse and beware.

Computer Viruses: We Need A New Wonder Drug
by Marjorie Dorfman
What are the different types of computer viruses and why are they so dangerous? Read on for some information that will, hopefully, be catching.

Online Shopping: The Mall In Our Minds
by Marjorie Dorfman
Why are more and more of us opting to shop online for all our holiday gifts? More important, why isn't that making it easier for all of us to get through the holiday rush? Read on for some answers and, perhaps, even more questions.

Tom Thumb Thingies: Mini-Gadgets For The Modern Consumer
by Marjorie Dorfman
Are gadgets getting smaller and smaller or are we getting bigger and bigger with each passing year? Evaluate this phenomenon, whether you are on the tall side or petite.

Robo Lassie, Please (beeep) Come Home!
by Marjorie Dorfman
Can a child love a robot and vice-versa? How can a bond be forged between metal and human emotions? Read on for some startling answers, whether you are fond of alloys or no.

Electronic Shopping Carts: When Knowledge Really Is Power
by Marjorie Dorfman
What happens when the truth will not set you free and, in fact, will make you a prisoner of your very private shopping wants and needs? Where is Big Brother hiding? These and other issues will be addressed below. So come out of hiding, if only for enough time to read all about it.

Internet Search Engines: Search And Ye Shall Seek, or Something Like That
by Marjorie Dorfman
Why are more and more people relying on Internet search engines to find the answers to most questions? Why are they so popular and how did they all begin? Read on and...find out.

The Dazzling Lighting Displays of Christmas: When Did They All Begin?
by Marjorie Dorfman
Why do we light the Christmas tree? How did the tradition get started and why are other holiday traditions related to lights as well? How does an associate of Thomas Edison figure into this and why should you care? Read on, for some dazzling answers.

Inventions that Aren’t and Should Never Be
by Marjorie Dorfman
Inventions? Patents? What about that secret idea to make life better for all mankind that is rattling around in your brain? Should you let it out or keep it to yourself? Read on, but at your own risk.

Lip Synching: Look Who’s Really Talking!
by Marjorie Dorfman
What is the real issue about lip-synching? Why are fans demanding perfection? Why are they so angry that their idols are granting them that? Read on for some answers.

Billboards That Know You: I Have Met Big Brother And He is Me
by Marjorie Dorfman
If you want to consider how technology has infringed upon the issue of personal privacy, read on. This, my friends, will show us what we are all in store for the next time we dare to turn on our car radios!


To Leap Or No?: The Story of Leap Year
by Marjorie Dorfman
Why does leap year happen every four years? Who makes sure that it does and is it all a covert operation accomplished by frogs in the know? Read on for some info and a laugh or two.

Vocaloid: Give Me Your Vowels, Your Syllables, Your Huddled Consonants…
by Marjorie Dorfman
Vocaloid is sweeping the country. Will we need a new more advanced dust pan to deal with its repercussions? Read on for a look at a new and amazing phenomenon.

Hi Tech Toys: Superfluous Novelty Gifts for the Technologically Impaired
by Marjorie Dorfman
Where are all those hi tech wonders for all the special ones on our gift list this year? Where can they found and do we really want to? Read on for some commentary.

The World of Pressure Cookery: Enter at Your Own Risk
by Marjorie Dorfman
Pressure cookers create healthier, tastier meals and yet have remained an enigma to American cuisine and cooks. Why has using them become an adventure and more times than not, a misadventure? Read on for some facts and a chuckle or two.

My Life with Computers: A Trip to Mount Everest with No Way Down
by Marjorie Dorfman
Do computers make you feel completely inept? Does their operation represent a mystery that only deepens with exposure? If so, join my club. It won’t get any better, I assure you, but at least here you will find some company!

Spam, Goddam!
by Marjorie Dorfman
How do all the spammers find me? What can I do to make them go away? Read on for some help in the never ending crusade against junk email!

Gadgets, Gizmos, Thingamajigs and Doodads: What Do They Want From Us?
by Marjorie Dorfman
What won't they think of next in the world of gadgets and gizmos? I am sure that I don't know, but look out! One is headed straight for your door! Let it in and share a smile.

What is This Thing Called TiVo?
by Marjorie Dorfman
The time for TiVo has come. All around high-tech town, people are asking the same question: Who cares? What is this thing and why do we want it? Why have others sucombed to its charms and swear they will never let it go? Read on for most answers.

Wearable Technology: La Com-puter Mo-bile
by Marjorie Dorfman
What are the fashionable cyborgs of today wearing? Step right up to the electro-magnetic cosmos of wearable technology and see for yourself.

Automatic Teller Machines: What Do They Want From Us?
by Marjorie Dorfman
Do your recall the days when withdrawals and deposits of cash could not be made when the banks were closed? If you needed to pay off some guys in dark raincoats, it was just too damn bad. Automated teller machines offer convenience when they work and constipation when something goes awry. Read on for more understanding, less compassion and, hopefully, a few laughs in the process.

E-Mail: My Inbox Runneth Over
by Marjorie Dorfman
Have you ever thought about where E-mail came from? We all know that it can’t be the same place as babies, but how did it become such an integral part of our every day lives? Read on for a few answers and a chuckle or two as well.

The VCR: A Journey to the Center of Another Earth
by Marjorie Dorfman
Why is it that I can never operate my VCR properly? Do you have the same problem? Do you want to join that underground club that secretly meets and programs your VCR when friends and relatives cannot see you? If so, read on and learn to laugh at that which cannot be conquered.

Cause For Alarm: The Irritating Saga of The Alarm Clock
by Marjorie Dorfman
Have you ever wondered where those damn destroyers of sleep came from? Would you be surprised to learn that the very first alarm clock invented could only be rigged to go off at 4 AM? Please read on for more facts and a few laughs as well.

The Parking Meter; Not So Lovely, Rita
by Marjorie Dorfman
Are parking meters the bane of your existence? Or is the lack of quarters to feed their never-ending thirst? In any case, read on for a humorous look at the parking meter's annoying history and even more irritating legacy.

Childproof Caps: And You Thought You Had a Headache Before!
by Marjorie Dorfman
Do childproof caps drive you absolutely insane? Do you curse and spit every time you try to open one of them? Well, read on if you do. There are no solutions, but you may find a chuckle or two.

Automated Voice Mail: A Journey to Hell with No Way Back
by Marjorie Dorfman
The inventor of automated voice mail has passed away to the other side of the telephone lines. It's a good thing, because otherwise I might have killed him myself. Are you tired of talking to automatons whenever you make a call? If so, join the fight and have a laugh or two, on me.

Telemarketers: Pains in the Neck and Much Lower
by Marjorie Dorfman
Are you ready to kill the next telemarketer that calls your house? Would you stop at nothing to thwart them at their own game? Read on for some advice and a smile.

The New Math: Or I Was Absent the Day They Did That
by Marjorie Dorfman
Do you feel children can do math better than you? Are you challenged by what seems to be simple equations? If so, join the club and have a secret chuckle or two.

Microwave Ovens: Who Sent Them Here and What Do They Want?
by Marjorie Dorfman
How does a microwave oven know to heat the coffee in a cup and not the cup as well? Are these aliens conspiring against the human race? Read on for the answers to these and other hopeless questions.

Let's Bemoan The Cellphone
by Marjorie Dorfman
What did we all do before the cellphone was invented? How did we manage to survive without having one of them attached to our heads? Read on for answers and hopefully, a laugh or two.

Sorry, Right Number: Call Waiting and Other Atrocities
by Marjorie Dorfman
Have you ever noticed that every time you reach a wrong number, it's never busy? What if, whenever you dialed a number, you regretted the entire process? Read on if you dare.

My Life With Machines: A Non-mechanical Square Peg in a Round Hole Called The World
by Marjorie Dorfman
Are you convinced that machines are part of a subversive plot to take over your life? Do you feel helpless against their might? Then read on and unite with us other misfits!

Dear Reader:
If you have enjoyed these articles, please consider helping some shameless creators survive on the Web. We maintain 8 sites that hopefully offer a smile and some worthwhile information to all who seek it.
Click on the butterfly if you can send us something.
No donation is too small to be appreciated and if you can’t, that’s okay too. Keep reading and have a wonderful day.



Bargains we couldn't believe!



15% Off WirelessEmporium.com Orders & FREE Shipping on ALL Orders! Use Coupon Code: TAKE15WE, No expiration date! Shop Now!



You've wanted to upgrade your TV experience. Now's the time to do it!.

Free portable DVD player from DIRECTV

Limited time DIRECTV offer: No start-up costs, instant online rebates, FREE portable DVD player*, FREE DVR or HD upgrade. Offer details


Tech toys, odd and unusual gifts.
Edmund Scientific
Stuff you just can't find anywhere else.


Check these reviews by Marjorie of interesting home and kitchen gadgets:

Can open any jar. Manufacturer still working on bank vaults.
Black and Decker Jar Opener

A must have for your next potato bash!
Potato Steamer And Masher

Hot dogs in a hurry and the rolls too!
Hot Dog And Bun Cooker

Manufacturer working on snow and other whitish things.
Marshmellow Maker for Kids

Works better than its cousin, the ghost buster who can’t be found anyway.
Cyclonic Dust Buster


Marjorie's reviews