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Hi Tech Toys: Superfluous Novelty Gifts for the Technologically Impaired

page 2

stealth cameraThe James Bond Stealth Camera (or JBI as it is known to its most intimate acquaintances) packs a powerful technological punch. This miniature digital wonder, which costs $69.95, has so many special features that they can’t all be enumerated here. Some of them include a "Self Timer Mode", a Video Clip with Sound Mode and an Audio Record Mode. The camera also comes equipped with an idiot-proof software package, (how can one ever really be sure?) that allows you to get images in and out of the computer almost as fast as you can take them. Best of all, the JBI has a unique mode button, which can be set to record images at preset interval times of up to 90 minutes. I’d grab this one before the people you want to spy on get tired and move away. Hurry! There isn’t much time! (Maybe you can even sell one to Sean Connery, if he’s still in the market that is.)

For the adult child in all of us, I include "Thinking Putty." Its claim to fame for $8.95 is: "bend me, shape me, any way you want me." According to its creators, Thinking Putty bounces, stretches, squishes, lifts prints from newspapers, snaps, crackles, pops, shears, tears, melts, drips and even shatters. No one however, knows why. It is the perfect product for stress and tension relief and a truly unique experience (so is watching a volcano, but I don’t think I want to be there.) They say that once you pick it up, you will never be able to put it down. It helps with the suppression of nasty impulses in the everyday work place, such as the desire to wrap your hands around a boss’s or co-worker’s neck. Watch the substance carefully if you bring it to work. In the hands of others that don’t own it, it is known to create intense and uncontrollable jealousy. Eventually, so they say, you will want to order more. Get it in Electric Blue, orange, pink, black, red or purple. Develop stronger hands and your imagination. Leave it on your desk and let your unconscious take over. (If it doesn’t, well, then you may have another problem.)

executive and angelFor the technologically stymied busy executive who has everything, maybe its time for a nap. Consider the "Executive Hammock". It’s manufacturers claim that it can be tiring as well as tough at the top. Everyone knows we will all get more sleep than we need when we pass over to the other side of the sod, but why should we wait? With Executive Hammock you can have forty, fifty or even five hundred winks whenever you like. The full size high-tech hammock is crafted in sturdy black nylon and is compact enough to tuck into a briefcase, pocket, handbag or lunchbox. Simply unravel and attach each end of the hammock to something that will bear your weight. Then relax and enjoy. A steal at $9.95, if you can stay awake long enough to buy it!

robot Santa And now the best part of this exposé: where can you get all of these marvelous, must have and can’t live without things? I am not at liberty to say, but if I was allowed to say I would tell you to check out Sharper Image and Have fun with all these superfluous things and while you are at, have a happy, healthy holiday too!

Did you know . . .

This is just the most wonderful source . . .

. . . for toys, gifts and hobby stuff.

tech humor quotes
"Technology has enabled man to gain control over everything except technology."

"Never trust a computer that you can't throw out the window."
Steve Wozniak

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